Dinner rolls fly at the next table
A diner insists he isn't the one throwing rolls at a neighbor, apologizing over and over while swearing it's not him.
S5E24 · Both Sides Now
20 moments · 26 min of essential viewing in a 44-minute episode.
Moments, in order
A pain-free House disses the right brain
Singing and in a good mood, House dubs the patient's condition alien hand syndrome and argues with Taub over the 'mute loser' right hemisphere.
Cuddy lays down the rules
Cuddy tells House she is his boss and he is an employee, insisting it isn't about last night; he can accept the rules or leave.
House tells Wilson he slept with Cuddy
House announces he slept with Cuddy after she helped him detox; Wilson is thrilled, then asks how he plans to screw it up.
Scott's left hand strikes his girlfriend
His girlfriend brings gifts and worries his other half dislikes her; his left hand lashes out, and moments later he can't walk.
Thermal imaging of Cuddy
Rather than talk to Cuddy, House shows Wilson heat photos of her after a minute with him; Wilson begs him to be an adult.
The split-brain word test
Words shown to only one hemisphere: Scott can't say one he didn't consciously see but draws it, then invents a reason for standing up.
House tries to make Cuddy angry
Cuddy waves off talk about House, then calmly approves his pointless permission request as he openly admits trying to anger her.
Oxytocin on Cuddy's coffee cup
Wilson says House is using Cuddy in place of Vicodin; House reveals he tested her cup for the bonding hormone and plans to make her lose her temper.
Eugene Schwartz squawks like a parrot
Sent up by Cuddy, an elderly clinic patient explains a sudden squawk that started while he was making a chair and is ruining his marriage.
Cameron uses House as her whiteboard
Cameron runs through her options with Chase; House says the magic words would be destroying her husband's sperm, and pokes at her insurance logic.
Wilson counsels a split brain
Wilson is drafted to give relationship counseling to Scott's two hemispheres and suggests narrating his plans out loud for his right brain.
House catches the arrhythmia mid-surgery
While the patient crashes House insists the clots come from an intermittent arrhythmia and orders an echo at exactly the right moment.
Wilson: the man with answers or the man with Cuddy?
House fixates on a cup missing Cuddy's lipstick; Wilson asks what story he wants to tell, then tells him to go make her angry.
Chase tells Cameron to keep the sperm
Chase sees Cameron doesn't want to destroy what's left of someone she loved, tells her not to, and admits he never cancelled their wedding plans.
House's announcement and Cuddy's fury
House tells the whole lobby he slept with Lisa Cuddy; Cuddy erupts, House asks if they should move in together, and she fires him.
The squawk turns out not to be the problem
House diagnoses Eugene's reflux, then a moved belt reveals a tumor and he realizes why pancreatic cancer was on his mind.
Cuddy's version of that night
House asks about lipstick; Cuddy says they never could have a relationship and recalls him insulting her the night he says she helped him.
House admits he is not okay
After a long silence a voice tells House this is a story he made up about himself, and he finally answers that he is not okay.
As Tears Go By closes the season
The season ends over the song As Tears Go By.
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